Day 274: Michelangelo is a Drug Dealer

This post is not entirely about Michelangelo selling drugs. It's partly about that, but only in a round-about way. Really this post is about a book. An awesome book that you can read the first part of right now for only $2!

So there's this guy, Robert Brockway, who writes from Cracked.com, one of my favorite time-wasting internet sites. I have long counted Mr. Brockway among a handful of my favorite columnists/contributors to the site and I really enjoyed his book Everything is Going to Kill Everybody. In fact I liked it so much (and happened to be reading it at the time that I started this blog) that it inspired my Day 3 post and picture.

Well, guess what? Robert Brockway has written another book... sort of. I mean he wrote this thing, and it's book length, but you can't physically buy it in a store and only the first episode (of three) is out. Did I mention it's only $2? Here's the run-down:

RX: A Tale of Electronegativity is a sort of dystopian-future sci-fi adventure tale. It stars Red, a drug user/pusher/inventor/tester who wakes up in a strange place after testing a new type of drug and wacky hijinks ensue! Generally these hijinks leave him in mortal danger, or at least pants-less. Co-starring are QC and Byron who have their own set of problems and, in my mind at least, are the perfect balancing characters to round out Red's ultimate adventuring party. Well, maybe not Byron, he seems pretty goddamn useless, but you need a third so who am I to argue?

This shit's full of crazy nano-tech mixed with lots and lots of drug use (and some robots). It's pretty awesome and there are a number of ways to enjoy it. Allow me to elaborate.

Visit the official website here to read about the story and buy your digital download of Episode 1:

http://www.rxthebook.com/

After that you have a couple of options for getting the rest once they're released.

1) Just, you know, wait for them to come out and then pay your $2. It shouldn't take too long; Episodes 2 and 3 have already been written.

2) Write a review for Episode 1 and submit it by following the instructions on the site to get your name on a list for a free copy of Episode 2

3) The best option? Kickstart that shit.

There is a Kickstarter campaign going on for two more days in association with this book. This is not to fund the book, but is more like a pre-order program complete with bonus gifts. I suggest doing this because in addition to getting Episodes 2 and 3 you can also help fund a game based on Episode 1! Only catch is the video game only happens if he hits the $7,500 mark. So, you know, give generously and all that.

I hope this has inspired you to check out RX: A Tale of Electronegativity. I was initially intrigued by the unique approach to publishing and the low price point, but I ended up really liking the story so I hope some of you will take a chance on it as well.

As for why I chose Mikey for the picture, my first thought was Donatello because he's the only one smart enough to synthesize these drugs, but he's really more of a tech guy and Red is pretty anti-technology, at least in the form of his own enhancements. After all, it might interfere with the drugs. Out of the other three Turtles I think Michelangelo comes closest to Red's interesting lifestyle. This picture depicts Red at the beginning of the story, waking up in a strange place amidst the ruins of a maintenance bot with his arm display flashing "OVERDOSE." All-in-all not a great way to start a hangover.

Day 273: The Turtles Visit Middle Earth

In my last post I mentioned, briefly, my love of Middle-earth and everything it encompasses. Today I'd like to expand a bit on that.

The reason it's been on my mind lately is that my wife, after reading The Hobbit several times in the past made up her mind to finally finish The Lord of the Rings. She's tried before, but never got past The Fellowship of the Ring, and as much of a fan as I am I can totally understand. Tolkien's writing is not everyone's cup of tea; he's very descriptive and his love of lengthy discussions far outweighs the amount of action in the story. But we both love Peter Jackson's film adaptations and the recent trailers for part one of The Hobbit have us very excited to see Martin Freeman as a young Bilbo. So in anticipation of re-entering the epic film version of Middle-earth she decided to finally finish the series, and she did complain about some parts being boring and Tolkien's uncanny ability to kill momentum but overall she really enjoyed it.

As for me? I love it all. The councils, the walking, the endless discussions of old legends, the songs (especially the songs!); all those things that make the books difficult or boring for most people are the things I love. I wasn't always this way, though. My love of Middle-earth is one that has been growing since I first read The Hobbit sometime around 4th Grade. Tolkien's writing is sometimes a bit weighty, especially for a child, but The Hobbit is much more accessible and I've always read things at a higher level than my age. I enjoyed it even if I didn't understand it all and then I moved on to The Lord of the Rings since I had them all in a convenient box set my aunt had given me.

At first I was really only interested in the story. There was so much needless trudging through forests and across plains and talking and singing (those fucking songs!). I remember distinctly giving up on the songs early on and just skipping over them when I first read the books. Or how about Tom Bombadil? What about that guy?

If you've read the books or were a big fan of the movies you likely know Tom Bombadil. Purists crucified Peter Jackson for his omission of the character, while other people were so happy to not have to listen to one of his stupid songs. Personally when I first read the books I hated Tom Bombadil, but now I love that guy! He's such a great character, but if you look at the story objectively he isn't really necessary and I think Peter Jackson did the right thing in leaving him out. I think I'll include a bit of him, though, as this is my blog.

Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!

Ring a dong! hop along! Fal lal the willow!

Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!

Old Tom Bombadil is a merry fellow,

Bright blue his jacket is, and his boots are yellow.

None has ever caught him yet, for Tom, he is the master:

His songs are stronger songs, and his feet are faster.

Over time I continued to revisit the books and I began to get drawn more into the world rather than just the events of the story. I started to wonder about the Elves and where Sauron came from and all those things fantasy nerds wonder about. I started reading the songs and paying more attention to the smaller, seemingly insignificant details. Eventually I read The Silmarillion which was the most amazing thing that ever happened to someone wanting to know more about Middle-earth and its origins.

The Silmarillion is the Middle-earth bible, and not in the sense that it's a great reference book. It's the Middle-earth bible in the sense that it starts out with the creation and shaping of the world, and moves on through the tales of the ages from there. This is not something I would recommend to a casual fan of the series unless you're really really interested in Elvin genealogy.

So here I am, now (sort-of) an adult with a deep love of all things Middle-earth. I don't really have strong feelings about that world becoming "cool." I know a lot of people hate seeing things they love get popular and bastardized by the mainstream, but that's really never mattered much to me. I'm happy that more people have been exposed to what was my introduction to the fantasy genre, but I realize most people won't take it as far as I have. That's fine. Everyone else can move on and forget about the Hobbits and Ents; I'll continue to love Tolkien's world for my own reasons.

About the picture, it kind of looks like the Fellowship, except there were nine member of the Fellowship and only four Turtles. I just tried to represent the major races matching the personalities of the Turtles as much as possible. Leonardo is men, but in his case specifically a ranger. They're from an old blood-line of the first kings and much more noble than your average Joe. Donatello is an elf (even though that kinda looks like a Gondorian pattern on his vest). I don't really have a good reason for this except that I've always liked the elves. In hindsight he should have been a wizard. Magic is as close as you can get to technology in Middle-earth without being evil. Raph is a dwarf, of course. Red beard mixed with a love of fighting and quick temper? done. Michelangelo, I feel, best represents the Hobbits. Why fight when you can eat, drink, smoke and generally enjoy life to the fullest?

Day 272: Donatello's Birthday Party

Guess what? My birthday was a few days ago. Ordinarily I don't get too excited for my birthday. I don't hate getting older--most of the time I have to do mental calculations to remember exactly how old I am--I just feel a little uncomfortable with the amount of focus people put on me all of a sudden for one day. This is not to say I haven't enjoyed my birthdays. I've had some good times, last night included. I didn't have a party; we just met some friends for dinner. I got lots of cool Spider-Man and TMNT stuff including the new IDW Volume 1 collection of the original comics autographed by Kevin Eastman!

My wife took the theme of the night in a different, but equally nerdy direction (she threw me a TMNT party a few years ago; I'll get to it in a bit). Over the last few years she's really cultivated a love for baking and decorating things and she's gotten pretty damn good. One of my other (many) loves is Tolkien's Middle Earth. I love all of it, not just Lord of the Rings or The Hobbit, but the entire world and all its lore.--

Before I start rambling about Middle Earth I'm going to stop here and promise to explore this in another post.

--My wife has read The Hobbit several times, just finished Lord of the Rings all the way through for the first time and we're both waaaay excited about the upcoming adaptation of The Hobbit. So this year, she made me a book cake. An awesome book cake that looks like it has real pages and... just look at this thing!

It's huge and awesome and, most importantly, delicious. I chose Strawberry cake without knowing what she was making, so she put a cream cheese layer. Get it? Strawberry's and Cream Cake. As in, "Do you remember the taste of strawberry's and cream, Mr. Frodo?" There are layers of meaning to this cake (as well as just regular layers).

So anyway, I drew this picture of Donatello (me) ready to blow out his candles on his birthday. I'm going off the assumption that the Turtles aren't really brothers in the genetic sense and so they celebrate different birthdays. The others aren't screaming in horror, they're singing "Happy Birthday" to him.

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Instead of writing a big long post about my birthday this year I thought I'd share a few pictures from my TMNT birthday from a few years ago.

 My sweet Donatello cake

Ninja Turtle cupcakes made by my good friend Crystal! The TMNT heads were ring party favors.

My friend graciously let me cut the cake with the broken hilt of Narsil. 

Apparently cutting cakes with a sword is a thing I do. I cut my Spider-Man groom's cake with a samurai sword.

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Here are a few pictures my mom gave me of when I was younger. Proof that I have always loved the turtles.

Me at 5 years-old. Note my coordinated outfit.

 My 6th birthday cake.

6 year-old me at some school carnival thing.

Clearly they didn't have a Donatello cut out.

Day 162: Nunchuckacopter: An Improved Design

I think I may have improved on my previous design. Two whirling blade-things gives you more control and stability.

And yes, Michelangelo is using his tiny nunchucks for this experiment.

Day 145: Michelangelo is a Dapper Dude

I just felt like drawing a turtle in a suit with a top hat and monocle. In retrospect it was foolish of me to not include tails.

Day 142: Christmas Time is Here

Yesterday's post was all about turkey pot pie, but we have another tradition for the Friday after Thanksgiving: decorating for Christmas. Usually this involves putting up the tree and hanging various Christmas-y things around the apartment. Our tree is the same fake tree we bought for our first Christmas as a married couple 5 Christmases ago. It's looking a little worse for the wear since it doubles as an irresistible cat perch. Keeping the cat out of the tree is another age-old holiday tradition of ours.

We put the tree up last night and while we hung ornaments and cooked the pot pie we watched our first Christmas movie of the season, Elf. We used to hang generic red and silver glass ball ornaments and stars, but we've got enough individual personal ornaments to fill our tree now. I don't mind trees that are very organized and designed to look a certain way with matching ornaments, but to me that's missing the point of the Christmas tree. I love going through our boxes of ornaments and remembering where they came from and when we got them. To me a Christmas tree should be a history of a family and a reflection of your personality.

Every year on Christmas Eve my wife and I exchange ornaments. Usually we get each other one of the Hallmark ornaments from that year's collection, but not always. I can't even count the number of Cinderella and Spider-Man ornaments we have on our tree because of this tradition. Ninja Turtle ornaments haven't been as popular in recent years, but I have a few of those as well. The ball ornament is one I've had since I was a little kid. I literally cannot remember a Christmas where it wasn't hanging on the tree. It's probably one of my favorites to hang and every year it gets a place of honor near the top.

Day 132: Subway Wednesday!

Today I was feeling pretty tired and kind of stressed about my car not being fixed yet so while we were out my wife suggested we just do Subway Wednesday for dinner and watch X-Files. Maybe I should explain.

Subway Wednesday, apparently, is something her family in Phoenix has been doing where they eat Subway for dinner... on Wednesday. It's really not too complicated. And since it's Wednesday we did our own Subway Wednesday. That's all.

Day 115: Michelangelo Goes Base Jumping

I figure of all the Turtles Michelangelo is the one most likely to do this. He is, after all, a party dude.

Day 111: What Would a Turtle Do With a Gun?

So after I drew yesterday's picture about Raphael using a battle axe I started thinking about what other weapons the Ninja Turtles could use, but probably wouldn't. First thing that came to mind was a gun of course. Then I started thinking about what a Turtle would do with a gun. They're not comfortable with killing so I can't imagine who they would shoot at.

I figured I should just draw Michelangelo doing the first thing that came to mind when I imagined him holding a gun: shrugging. I imagine he's thinking, "What should I do with this thing?"

Or maybe he's saying, "I don't know what happened, it just went off."

Either way Ninja Turtles and guns are probably not a good mix.

Day 109: Castle-angelo

Tonight is Monday. You want to know what the only reason to be excited by Monday is? Castle is on tonight. If you haven't seen Castle you're doing yourself a disservice. I'm ashamed to admit that we didn't start watching it until season 3. It's not that we weren't interested, we just didn't make time for it. Boy were we stupid.

Nathan Fillion plays the main character, Richard Castle, and I should make one thing clear to everyone: Anything Nathan Fillion does is worth watching. Anything. I would even watch his stint on One Life to Live if they re-aired it. On the short list of celebrities I wish I was real-life friends with Nathan Fillion is hanging out at the top.

OK, I'm done talking about Nathan Fillion, I promise, even though he's amazing and you should probably go watch everything he's done and then follow him on Twitter.

As a general rule I don't like cop/crime shows. The closest I have ever come to following a crime/law drama is watching X-Files or maybe Dexter. Luckily the rest of the cast is just as stellar as Mr. Fillion and they all make me wish they had more screen time.

Stana Katic is the hottest police detective on any TV show (and probably in real-life, too) and she plays a great straight-man to Fillion's antics. Seamus Dever and Jon Huertas as Detectives Ryan and Espisito are probably two of my favorite secondary characters on TV. They are maybe the only supporting characters I wouldn't mind watching an entire episode of. They do a good job playing a sort-of middle ground comic relief on a show where the main character is also the most ridiculous character, and they've both shown their acting chops in more serious episodes. Detective Ryan wins for household favorite, though, because my wife says he's so adorable in his suits and vests. She also loves that the actor that plays him in named Seamus, a name she's been championing as a name for our son (if we have one) since I've known her. Last but not least Molly Quinn plays maybe the cutest TV daughter in the history of TV. Following her on Twitter makes her seem an awful lot like her character, Alexis, in a good way of course.

While we watched the show I drew Michelangelo wearing Castle's custom-made "writer" bullet-proof vest. I picked Michelangelo because he's a comedian like Fillion, but I considered Donatello. Fillion (and Castle) are tech guys and Donatello's got a good sense of humor himself.

Day 108: Football Head

Today was football day. I mentioned previously about my wife being a huge Pittsburgh Steelers fan and me being a huge not-really-watching-much-football fan so we compromise by watching the games when we can and both rooting for the Steelers; her because she loves them and me because I don't want her to be in a bad mood all day. She says that's not really rooting for them with my whole heart and soul, but I say it is rooting with my whole heart and soul because if she thinks I don't care if she's in a bad mood after a loss she is sorely mistaken. Anyway, today the Steelers played the Arizona Cardinals which is always a big deal for us since we both lived in Phoenix and have several friends here that are Cardinals fans.

We met up with my brother, his girlfriend and our friend, Shaun, at a wing place called Pluckers near our house to watch the game. It was sort of one sided with the Steelers running all over the Cardinals which is fine by me. We had a good time hanging out and I drew this while we were sitting at the table. After I finished drawing it I was trying to decide which turtle to color it as and my wife offered an opinion.

Em: Umm... you could color his mask yellow like the Steelers' color.

Me: Nope, that's not a real turtle color.

Em: But it could be for this drawing because they're a fan of the Steelers.

Me: Sorry, can't do it. The best I can offer is to make it Michelangelo. That's as close to yellow as I can get.

Em: But it's not the same. Maybe you could make it say "Terrible Towel" or something.

Me: Not gonna happen.

Day 104: Ninja Nose on a Ninja Turtle

There's this new Tumblr called Teenage Mutant Ninja Noses. Have you heard of it? You should check it out because it's pretty hilarious and I'm a little embarrassed that I didn't come up with it after all the thinking about Ninja Turtles I do every day. I made a couple of submissions, but only one has been posted so far. It works amazingly well 99% of the time on human noses. Ninja Turtle noses, as you can see, don't really have the right shape. It just looks like a stupid tattoo.

Here are my submissions:

Day 94: High Five!

I'm pretty busy today. I'm working on my wife's car and then I'm busy being lazy so here's a picture of Donatello and Michelangelo high fiving. High fives are pretty great and you can't high five someone in a negative way so it's always a good way to lift someone's spirits, unless you're like us and you have about a million different joke high fives that make everyone feel stupid when they get caught by one.

I used Don and Mike in this picture because I don't ever pair them up, but I feel like they have a pretty close relationship being the ones with the best senses of humor. I also feel like to most people they were the sort of less popular turtles because everyone loves Leo and Raph. Maybe I'm just imagining that, though.

Day 80: Michelangelo Plays an Awesome Arcade Game

Remember that awesome FantasticFest arcade I was going to post about, but then I posted about Journey instead? Well, I went back there for a panel and all the games were still set up! I guess I wasn't paying much attention to the website and thought that only a small amount of the more "indy" games were remaining through the weekend, but I was wrong, dead wrong.

The reason I went back in the first place was to attend a panel about story telling in video games and film. It was mostly about story telling in video games, but they used methods of story telling in film as a contrasting view. It was actually very interesting when it wasn't completely hilarious and absurd. The panel was made up of the writer and two other creative team members from LightBox Interactive (Warhawk, Starhawk) and two Spanish film makers. It was really interesting learning about the unique challenges in developing a story in a video game, but probably my favorite part was when one of the film makes went on a rant about not liking Angry Birds because they're too angry and comparing them to Palestinian suicide bombers and terrorists. It sounds mildly offensive and it probably was, but it was also hilarious.

Afterward I got to play a few games I didn't get to the first time around at the arcade and by the time I left I felt that I definitely got my money's worth out of the free event. Man, I love Austin.

Day 75: Michelangelo Dreams

Today I'm taking a bit of a creative break and returning to another running theme that I started waaaaay back when. I'm examining what I imagine Michelangelo might dream about. I'll be honest, Michelangelo was never my favorite turtle. In fact he probably comes dead last on my turtle rankings, but it's not because I don't like him; he just always seemed pretty one-dimensional and single-minded. I know that probably sounds ridiculous if you stop to think about the fact that I'm talking about cartoon turtles, but even so I have my opinions on the personalities of each.

With that in mind I had a difficult time thinking about what Mikey might dream about. I thought about a giant pizza with all of his favorite toppings (marshmallows, gummi bears, sprinkles, etc..) or about him winning some extreme sports competition like an X-Games Gold medal or something. In the end I decided on something a bit more personal. I think if you treat the story of the turtles seriously (as I obviously do) all four of them must have real goals, dreams and aspirations like any normal person. So I tried to imagine what Michelangelo's might be. Maybe deep down he's really depressed or scared and he uses his sense of humor as a defense mechanism. Or maybe I'm just thinking too hard about this one. Looks like I didn't really get my creativity break after all.

Day 70: Michelangelo Yo Dawg (TMNT meme # 3)

Number three on my TMNT meme parade is Michelangelo as Xzibit.

Unfortunately I'm going to have to wait on my last TMNT meme picture, but the good news is tomorrow you get a post about my secret project I've been working on. So look forward to that.

Click here for meme #1
Click here for meme #2

Day 60: Michelangelo Doesn't Do Shit

This is what me and the wife did yesterday. We watched TV like all day. We're studying for an "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" Pub Quiz so we're going through the series again. If you've never seen it I highly suggest it.

Day 56: Michelangelo Flies a Kite

It was nice outside today. It made me want to fly a kite, so I drew Michelangelo flying one. It's my kite, actually. I really have a Spider-Man kite with a ridiculously long tail of little Spider-Man heads. I think I still have it. I may have lost it in a tree come to think of it. That sucks. I liked that kite. I should investigate whether it's still around here somewhere or not.

Day 16: Michelangelo Wearing a Coonskin Cap

I'm updating early because the wife and I are driving to San Antonio for a friend's birthday party in about an hour. So what does this mean for you? Well for one thing it means you get this ridiculous picture of Michelangelo in a coonskin cap.

"But why a coonskin cap?" you ask. Or maybe you didn't, but let's assume you did. I chose to draw this because we're going to San Antonio, the location of the Alamo. "That still doesn't make sense," I can hear you saying out loud to no one in particular. Well let me ask you this: who is the most famous person you know that fought and died at the Alamo? If you said anyone but Davy Crockett you are lying! Davy Crockett wore coonskin caps and he fought and died at the Alamo which is located in the city we are driving to today. I rest my case.

I considered drawing the Ninja Turtles at the Alamo, but that would have taken too long and I wouldn't have been able to take you on that mental roller coaster ride through my thought process. Besides the fact that we're not actually going to the Alamo, but there are no guarantees I won't wear a coonskin cap today.

P.S. Check out the blog. It's all updated and looks like a little kid designed it. IT'S PERFECT! I still intend to update some of the features, but for now I like the overall layout and design.