Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Day 139: Donatello is a Master Plumber

That's it. I'm done trying to come close to evening out the scales for the number of times I feature each Turtle in their own picture. Everyone that visits is going to have to come to grips with the fact that Donatello is going to get the lion's share of the posts. He is my avatar in the Ninja Turtle world and anything I post in regards to something I did in real life is probably going to feature him. So just deal with it, Donatello haters.

Moving on, I am not actually a master plumber, despite the title of this post (I just typed "turtle" instead of "title." This blog is affecting my muscle memory in strange ways). However, I did fix my mom's toilet after work last night. I replaced a leaky water supply valve and hose and adjusted the float so it wouldn't keep running constantly. If you've ever done much toilet repair you'll recognize that these are not especially difficult things to fix, but if you haven't I sound like a real bad ass, like I should go work for Roto Rooter and then I can get my own show about paranormal investigations! This idea is sounding better and better.

OK, so maybe I'm not the best handy-man-fix-it-guy, but I think I do fine with small projects around the house. Way better than I ever imagined I would when I was younger and had no interest in these kinds of things. I can hang things (shelves/pictures/bigger pictures), fix brakes (to a limited degree) and build the best IKEA furniture you've ever seen. I hear so many people bitch about IKEA and their instructions with no words; that's the whole point! It's so simple. They give you pictures. If yours doesn't look exactly like the one in the picture then you're doing it wrong. Maybe I have more patience than most people with it, who knows, but I actually enjoy building IKEA furniture. It's like doing a puzzle. A puzzle that you can put shit on when you're done. A puzzle that makes your house look like grown-ups live there because it's got furniture now. A puzzle that can really bring a room together. Like a really nice underwater marine-life puzzle with a school of dolphins in the center.

I told my wife the other night that my priorities have changed since I was younger. If you had told me when I was 15 that when I grew up I would be dreaming of a nice house with a big garage, a full tool box and home improvement projects I would have laughed and told you to get out of the way, you're blocking Tony Hawk's Pro Skater. I guess things change and it helps that I'm a bit frugal when it comes to fixing things. We're in an apartment now so it's not much of an issue, but if something breaks and I have to pay to have it fixed you can damn well bet I'll be on the internet trying to teach myself before I call in a professional. Thankfully my wife comes from a largely do-it-yourself family and usually indulges me. You can't learn if you don't try, right?

Alright, I'm done bragging about my extremely basic home repair skills. I'm gonna go build an IKEA bookshelf to take the edge off.

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