Today I gave blood. I've done this every 8 weeks at my work for the last two and a half years or so. I don't particularly enjoy the experience and I don't do it because I have a giant ego and want to feel good about myself for being so selfless. No, mostly I do it because it's a guaranteed 30-45 minute break from work complete with complementary snacks. I'd like to think that if my company stopped doing blood drives every eighth Tuesday I would take myself down to a clinic and donate on my own time, but I'm not ready to swear to that just yet.
My experience today was especially fun because I had a trainee sticking me. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against trainees. Everyone has to start somewhere. But today I learned what it feels like when someone can't find your vein and has to move the needle around in your arm. *Spoiler alert!* It's not pleasant. I'm a little worried that I'm going to have a massive bruise there tomorrow, but to be perfectly frank I don't really care. What I do care about is the bandage. They had several color wraps, but the lady fixing me up didn't even ask what color I wanted! I prefer purple because having a purple medical wrap around my elbow puts me just a little bit closer to being Donatello. Blue wold have been my second choice, but no, she just slapped a red one on me like it was no big deal, like it didn't even matter!
Well, that informed my decision of who I was going to put in the chair for today's drawing. I don't hate the red bandage and I actually do like Raphael, it's just that he's not my first choice, you know? At least Don's in there as the doctor. I figure out of all of them he's the most likely candidate for a medical license.
Did you know that Ninja Turtle blood is only good for two things? Number one: replenishing lost blood in another Ninja Turtle, and number two: inducing a beserker-like rage when ingested by dwarves. Don't believe me? Try it next time you find a vial of Ninja Turtle blood in your D&D campaign.
While doing some research for this post I learned some other interesting things about human blood types.
- Type A+ is the blood type most sought after by alien abduction groups. If you have type A+ blood you are 3% more likely to be abducted by an alien (human or extraterrestrial).
- Type A- (my type) is prominent in powerful wizards. Though people with other blood types may also be wizards, those with type A- display an average of 30% more magical power when compared to wizards of other blood types using similar spells.
- Type B+ is less dense than other blood types making it more buoyant. If you have type B+ blood it's like having +5 to your swimming skill.
- Type B- is sought after above all other types by vampires. If you have type B- blood you are 45% more likely to be attacked by a vampire, 55% if you work nights and 85% if you live in Eastern Europe. If you have type B- blood and you work nights anywhere in Eastern Europe it's more likely that you are a vampire than not.
- Type AB+ is the closest thing to elf blood human beings can have. It's believed by many prominent scientists that the AB+ blood type is only found in people with some elfin ancestry.
- Type AB- is resistant to Lycanthropy. People with type AB- blood are 13% less likely to turn into a werewolf if bitten by one according to recent studies.
- Type O+ is commonly found in people with a genetic predisposition to write fan fiction. Even if the desire is never expressed it is still likely hidden deep within the heart and soul of a person with Type O+ blood.
- Type O- is genetically linked to Solanum, the "zombie virus." In 100% of the recorded zombie outbreaks "patient zero" had type O- blood. It hasn't been established what the extent of the link is yet, but if you have type O- blood you may well be the epicenter of the next outbreak.